Jeremiah hit the snooze button and rolled over in disgust. A few seconds later, he threw off the blanket, panic setting in. A quick shower and he was out the door with a partially open backpack flapping off his shoulder.
The morning sun fought a losing battle against the mid-November chill. A few leaves dotted the trees which had long ago begun the process of changing their plumage from green to red and yellow. Brown grass clothed in ice crunched under his feet, the sidewalk not a direct enough route. Off to the right, a large clock sat near the summit of the church bell tower and presided over the activities on the quad. Its hands inched towards ten o’clock. Jeremiah shuffled past, a two-legged tortoise trying to outrun time.
“Hey!”
Jeremiah ignored it the first time. The second ‘hey’ stopped him in his tracks. From behind, another student chased him waving a stack of papers. He was tall and ran like a trim bull anxious to take out his frustrations on the man behind the fluttering red cape. In less time than expected, the student stood beside Jeremiah, breathing easily as if he hadn’t just sprinted a hundred yards.
“You dropped these,” he said.
Jeremiah took hold of the damp, frosty papers and looked at the title. A relieved sigh slipped out. “Thanks.”
“I saw them fly out back there. They looked pretty important. Interesting topic,” he added in a way that made it sound like he had no desire to touch the subject.
“I’ve got a presentation.” Jeremiah checked the clock. “In four minutes.”
“Which building?”
“Founders.”
“You’ll make it in plenty of time.”
“Not all of us are built like you.”
The student smiled. “Well, best of luck on the presentation. Who’s it for?”
“Professor Seward.”
“Oooh.” A pained look accompanied the exclamation. “Really, best of luck,” he added.
“Jeremiah.” He held out his hand.
“Ben,” the student replied.
“I know,” Jeremiah said. “Everybody knows.”
Ben took off without acknowledging the comment, the back of his head disappearing behind the church. Jeremiah zipped the backpack and began the shuffle towards Founders Hall. The weight of the books pressed him down as he climbed the short staircase to the side doors. The familiar musty odor of the old building struck him at the same time the first bell chimed. The tenth one sounded before he made it to the end of the hallway. Around the corner past two dried, wooden doors and he slid into a row of seats near the back of the lecture hall. Professor Seward rummaged through his own set of papers scattered near a briefcase on the table which served as a lectern.
“We’ll put off the presentations until next class,” Professor Seward said without looking up.
Both relief and disappointment hit Jeremiah. He didn’t like public speaking, never had, and hoped to get the presentation done so he could return to his anonymous role in the back of the class. On the other hand, this would give him a chance to clean up a few paragraphs, which weren’t worded to his satisfaction. He exchanged the speech for a notebook and pen.
The guy next to him gave a quick nod. Jeremiah returned the nod and slouched into the hard-backed chair. His feet kicked the back of the seat causing the girl in front to turn around. An irritated look greeted him.
“Sorry, Vic,” he said.
Her face relaxed. Warm, brown eyes sparkled hints of gray. “Hey, Jeremiah. Didn’t see you come in. I was about to break off a few toes of whoever was doing that. You’re lucky it’s you.”
“Yeah. I’m the luckiest guy on the planet.”
“You glad you don’t have to go today?”
His shrug was non-committal.
“I was hoping to be done with mine, get it out of the way,” she said.
“What’s your topic?”
“Abortion. Seward chose it ‘especially for me.’ His words. He knows what I believe. I think he wants to embarrass me. Fortunately, I have no shame.” A wry smile spread across her mahogany cheeks.
“I can see that,” Jeremiah said.
“What’s your topic?”
A voice spoke from the front of the room. “If you two are done, would it be alright if I started my lecture?”
Victoria raised her eyebrows at Jeremiah and swung around to the front.
“As you recall,” Professor Seward said, “we were comparing the idea of the Messiah in Judaism and Christianity with its equivalents in other religions. This idea of a being, a messenger, sent from another realm to bring news from god to mankind. We see this notion in most if not all of the major religions. Jibril and his words from Allah to Muhammad. Zeus sending his son Hermes. The list goes on. A messiah, a savior, declaring the words of god to a helpless, wayward people. Under close inspection, we see how Christianity borrowed from the ethos of these other religions around it to create its own take on the god-mankind relationship, its own version. Distinct yet not so different.”
“A bit of a false equivalency,” Victoria muttered loudly enough for the room to hear.
“I see,” Professor Seward said. “And how is that?”
“Christianity didn’t borrow from other religions. If anything, the other religions are a bastardization of the message found in the Bible. The devil’s pathetic imitation meant to lead people away from the truth.”
“I see.” He nodded slowly. “And what is the truth?”
“That Jesus is Lord, the Son of God. God himself. Sent to die for our sins and rise again so we could be with him for eternity.”
Seward’s lower lip jutted out as he continued his nodding. “What do you say to all those people who claim it’s just another fairy tale.”
“It’s not a fairy tale,” Victoria said. “Just the way it is.”
“You seem awfully sure of yourself, young lady.” He turned to look around the classroom. “Is there anyone else here who believes this story?”
A few hands raised. Jeremiah’s was one of them. Professor Seward scratched his chin and returned his attention to Victoria.
“I can see the vast support you have for your theory. It must be true.”
“Truth isn’t determined by majority,” she said.
“Then, what does determine it? What makes you correct and the other seven or so billion incorrect? You know, everybody believes they have the answer and that everyone else who disagrees is wrong. Each religion has ‘proof’ that they’re the correct one, but none have actual proof.”
“Are you saying you don’t believe?”
“I’m merely asking you questions, trying to see if you can defend your position. Let me ask you this. Do you really know why you believe, or do you simply believe what you were taught?”
“I know what I believe,” she said as a matter of fact.
“In that case, you must have concrete evidence beyond saying, ‘It is because I say it is.’ That’s not proof. That’s a cop out from someone who can’t provide a rational explanation.”
Jeremiah’s heart burned. Words formed but stuck in his throat. Victoria proceeded without hesitation.
“No. It’s called faith. And by the way, I don’t say it is. The Bible says it is. The Word of God says it is. And that’s good enough for me.”
“How about the Quran? The Book of Mormon. Aren’t those the words of God?”
“Nope.”
Professor Seward let out a tense laugh. “You’ve just offended a lot of people in this class.”
“At Annandale? How would that offend anyone?”
“Not everyone believes what you believe.”
“What do you believe, professor?” she asked, her brown skin slightly flushed. “You never actually tell us, always playing the devil’s advocate.”
“I’m proud of that,” he said.
“I didn’t mean it as a compliment.”
Jeremiah recoiled at her boldness. Professor Seward narrowed his eyes.
“I believe in many things. Logic. Science. Nachos. How the Cougars should find a new head coach if they ever want to win a game.” The last comment received a few laughs from the students. “I believe in the nobility of mankind, its collective wisdom. How we are a product of the choices that we make. The fact that we’re an assemblage of atoms, formed into a living being for a moment and returning to the universe when our time is up. What I don’t believe are superstitious tales designed to delude, to intoxicate the masses.” He waited for his words to deliver their blow. “Any other questions?”
“Just one,” she said. “Why did you come teach at this college if you didn’t believe?”
“I felt it was my sacred duty, pun intended, to save you from yourselves. You know, seeing as how Jesus wasn’t going to do it.”
“I’m sure Dean Immerson would be happy to know that.”
“I’m sure he already does.”
Victoria shrugged and leaned back. “How’d I do?” she asked Jeremiah.
“I think you’re going to fail the class,” Jeremiah said.
“I’ll get a C. It’s what he gave me last time.”
“You’ve had his class before?”
She nodded.
“And you took him again?”
“For the sole purpose of aggravating him.”
Jeremiah couldn’t tell if she was joking or not. Relief that it was her on the receiving end of the professor’s interrogation settled over him, but only for a moment. An uncomfortable feeling replaced it and sank into his bones. Feelings became accusations. Accusations transformed into voices which spoke into his subconscious. He tried to ignore the thoughts, to focus on the lecture instead, but they continued to claw at him, burrowing themselves deeper, piercing into his soul as if they were thrusts from a fiery sword.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“I admire your boldness,” Jeremiah said. The sun cast small shadows at his feet.
Victoria’s tight ponytail hung straight down, barely swaying as she walked with her books in her hands. “What’re you talking about?”
“In class. The way you stand up to Seward. How do you do it?”
Her lips stretched outward as her shoulders shrugged. “I don’t think about it. It’s just my personality, I suppose.”
“Must be nice.”
“I guess … if you don’t mind the trouble.”
“Never cared for it myself.” He quickly added, “I don’t mean that in a good way. I wish I could handle controversy better. It’s coming our way, you know.”
“How so?”
“You know … it’s what he says. We’ll … they’ll persecute us because we’re with him.”
“I don’t see that happening anytime soon. Not in this country. Not with our president. It’s why we split from the rest of the nation.”
“And look what happened to them.”
“That’s them,” she said. “Not us.”
“We’re headed in the same direction.”
Victoria wanted to argue more, but the way Jeremiah stooped as he walked, as though a weight hung around his neck, made her pause. That and the certainty of his words.
“Why do you say that?” she asked.
Jeremiah searched the edge of the clearing for an answer he knew wasn’t there. A couple leaned against a tree, his hands in her pockets, their lips embracing. Victoria followed Jeremiah’s gaze.
“Get a room,” she called out. “Better yet, save it until he gives you the second ring, honey.”
The girl made a gesture with a single finger.
“Maybe, you’re right,” she told Jeremiah, half in jest.
“You make friends everywhere you go, don’t you?” Jeremiah said it with enough sarcasm to be obvious but not insulting.
She returned the barb. “I got you. What more could I want?”
“Someone who wasn’t so awkward. So insignificant.” The last part he said too quietly to be heard.
“You’re a good guy, J. Not sure why you don’t see it.” Her books went into his hands. He accepted them without thinking. “Case in point.”
Question marks filled his eyes.
“No guy carries books for girls anymore,” she said. “They’re too ‘enlightened.’ Me, I personally prefer old school masculinity. Unfortunately, it’s becoming harder to find.”
“You’re not going to find it here,” Jeremiah said, holding up a flimsy bicep.
“You think Jesus won any bodybuilding competitions?”
Jeremiah searched the clearing again for the answer to her earlier question. He wasn’t sure why he wanted to open up to her. Maybe because she would understand. Maybe because she was beautiful in so many ways and he wanted to get close to her in a manner that mattered.
“Do you think God still talks to us like he did back in the Bible?”
“I don’t follow.”
“You know. Like he did to Isaiah. Or Malachi. Paul even. Do you think he speaks to us directly?”
“He speaks to us through his Word, if that’s what you mean.”
His lips twisted to the side. “Not really. I was thinking something more. Do you ever hear his voice?”
“I don’t know. I feel his spirit communicating with mine, I suppose.”
“A feeling?”
“It’s not really a feeling,” she said. “More of an internal compass pushing me in the right direction.” She hesitated. “To tell the truth, I haven’t thought about it much. Why are you asking about it? Is that the topic Seward assigned to you?”
“No. It’s ….” His voice trailed off.
A line of geese made a broken V overhead. “Even they’re smart enough to get out of here,” he muttered to himself. “Not like there’s any place for us to go.”
“What’s that?” Victoria asked.
“Nothing, Vic.”
“OK. Say, are you headed to lunch? I know it’s still a little early, but I’m going there now if you want to join me.”
“Rain check? I’ve got an appointment of sorts.”
“No worries. Tomorrow maybe?”
He nodded. “Tomorrow.”
He returned the books and waved as she walked off. Sunlight glistened off her dark skin. Jeremiah entered the woods which encroached on the east side of campus. His shoes crunched the dried leaves and pine needles which littered the ground under the tall canopy. Deep amongst the trees on top of a large, flat rock which jutted out of the earth, he sat down to wait.
A flash of light blinded him for a moment. He felt faint, unsteady as though he might pass out. Fingers gnarled and clenched the earth until they turned white. Another flash and the woods went dark, disappearing into a swirling blackness. Sun and clouds, earth and sky faded into the darkness as well. Emptiness, the suffocating emptiness of nothingness, filled him. A hole yet at the same time a vast weight lay on his chest, the precursor to a fear greater than anything he could have imagined. He fell to his knees and covered his face.
What do you see, Jeremiah?
Jeremiah raised his eyes. Blue water rolled gently onto a rocky shore. Pine trees lined its edge, thin, spiked fingers pointing towards the sky. On the far side of a cove, white heads peeked out from the green buds which lined the outstretched arms of a grove of dogwoods.
“I see an eagle beneath the paw of a bear,” he said. “One set of talons holds a pair of broken arrows.”
You have seen well. What else do you see?
Lightning fell like rain and struck the ground. Dried pine needles roared to life in flashes of orange and red. The fire grew stronger, blown by the north wind, sweeping down in a straight line towards a group of men standing outside a house. Their backs faced the flames; their attention fixed on a pair of windows. Women with painted eyes and painted lips leaned out the windows and called to them. ‘Come in,’ they said. ‘Our husbands have gone away. Come inside and drink and eat until you are satisfied.’
The fire rose into a wall. It began to wrap around the house as it feasted on the dry grass at the men’s feet. One man turned as though to look but stopped as his ear caught the words which dripped like honey off the women’s tongues.
“I see a fire surrounding the city,” he said. “A bear roars and his breath fuels the flames.”
I will pour out my wrath on this city, on this nation of prostitutes. I will send the lightning and call my servants from the north to stoke the fires. The blue water will dry up, and the fertile grounds will become dust. The land will burn until no green life is left; no grass, no trees, no grain to feed the animals or animals to feed their empty stomachs. Wild beasts will come down from the forests and feast on the flesh of your people. Vultures will circle the skies crying out for their brothers to join their banquet. People will call on their enemy to the south to come save them, but their enemy will come with only shackles of iron. They will not call on my name as they did in days of old. Therefore, I will pronounce my judgment on this people because of their wickedness in turning from me and worshiping the works of their hands. If they would return to me with all their hearts, I would heal the land. If they would drive out the prostitutes and smash their idols and obey me as my son obeyed me, I would lead them in the righteous paths.
You will be my spokesman. I will put my words in your mouth, and you will say everything I tell you. Even though they don’t listen, you will continue to speak everything I say.
“My Lord. I am young. They won’t listen to me. I don’t even know how to speak.”
Do not say you are young or that you do not know how to speak. Have I not formed you in your mother’s womb, chosen you from before you were born? Did I not fashion your tongue? Rise up and be bold. Today, I have made you a fortified city, an iron pillar and a bronze wall to stand against the whole land – the kings and priests and the people of the land. They will fight against you but will not overcome you, for I am with you to rescue you.
Get yourself ready! Stand up and say whatever I command you. Do not be terrified by them, or I will terrify you before them.
The voice vanished towards the east. Jeremiah didn’t dare look in that direction until it had disappeared completely.