“Bless us, oh Lord, and enlarge your kingdom. Let your goodness rain down on your servant. You are the one who sustains us and provides all we have. All glory and honor to you.”
“We know there are some of you out there, brothers and sisters, who feel lost, oppressed, beaten down by the sins and weight of the world. Who feel that justice will never be served. They see the color of our skin and say that we can never be their equal. But as the good book says, there is no Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, not man nor woman. But we all are one in Christ, created with equal worth to live out this life in harmony with our fellow man.”
“Welcome, all. It is so good to see you here. I know that not all of you are believers. Some of you are seekers, trying to find out what this is all about. I want you to know that you are truly welcome. There is a place in God’s kingdom for you. Come and taste of the fullness of his love.”
“Continue to bless us, our God. May your peace ever dwell with us. With your mighty right hand, you have made us prosperous. Our homes are filled with children. Our pantries overflow with grain and oil as they did during the time of Solomon. With wisdom, he ruled. With wisdom, we rule and you honor us because we follow you and speak your name. May your blessings remain on us forever and ever. As you say in your word, if a son asks his father for a fish, will you give him a rock? If those of you who are evil know how to give good gifts, how much more does your father in heaven. So, we ask you, father, to give us not only a fish but the whole fleet of fishing boats. Continue to bring the riches into our kingdom, so that we may share it with others and, thereby, glorify your name.”
“Oh, God of the orphan and widow and foreigner, shine your face on us again. Do not forget your children who walk in the darkness of oppression, who carry the chains of slavery on our wrists and ankles as our fathers and forefathers did before us. Release us from this oppression. Free us from the bigots in the places of power who use the system to keep us down. Grant us reconciliation between the races. Heal the nation from the sins of the past. Destroy the strongholds of prejudice and the institutions that enshrine them as law.”
“Who is God, but a God of love. It is his very nature. He cannot be untrue to himself. Can a leopard change its spots? Can an Ethiopian change his skin? Neither can our God be anything but loving. Mercy flows out of him like rain. Forgiveness awaits all who ask. He welcomes you with open arms, no matter what you’ve done, no matter the pain and hurt inside. If you’re lonely, he’s your friend. If you’re sick, he wants to heal you. He offers you the gift of eternal life without cost. He has paid the price and expects nothing in return. Come. Run to the outstretched arms of the father.”
“I see the clouds part as the manna falls from the sky. The golden bread from heaven raining down on his chosen people, showering us with untold treasures.” “There can be no peace without justice. There can be no justice until the nation falls on its knees and confesses the great sin of racism that flows through its very veins.” “Come you who are weary and heavy laden. Put your weight on his shoulders. There’s no need to carry your cross anymore. He bore the burden once and for all.”
“The more you give, the more you receive … we will ask them for justice, and if they don’t grant it, we will demand it … the yoke has been shattered … oh, that you would bless me and would enlarge my borders … that you would strike my enemies down … that you would lead me by still waters.”
“See the holy temple we have built with your tithes and offerings how beautiful it is my brothers and sisters do not be fooled by the devil all dressed in white but learn he loves us what more could we ask we know God is on our side see the prosperity he grants those he loves see the strongholds vanish as we rise in the righteousness of our cause see our sorrows disappear our coffers are full he tramples our oppressors underfoot our tears are wiped away bountiful equality grace treasures justice ease on earth as it is in heaven as our Lord taught us it should be.”
Jeremiah stepped to the stage. Much of the audience had already left. Whether they knew who he was or they had simply tired of the revival, he didn’t know. Tired faces greeted him. A few held a sneer, a pack of hyenas waiting for their prey to be distracted.
Seven years traveling from city to city. The invitations had grown fewer with each year, the donations enough to cover living expenses and little else. He had learned to be thankful in all circumstances, even those days like today when the hunger gnawed at his stomach. His hands shook. Exhaustion weakened his patience. The words of the three preachers echoed off the walls of the auditorium. Vapor, ghosts, salve for the itching ears of the crowd. Acid which carved a deeper hole. He offered his heart to God and took the microphone.
“Run through the streets,
look and take note!
Search her squares to see
if you can find a man,
one who does justice
and seeks truth,
that I may pardon her.
Though they say, ‘As the Lord lives,’
yet they swear falsely.
O Lord, do not your eyes look for truth?
You have struck them down,
but they felt no anguish;
you have consumed them,
but they refused to take correction.
They have made their faces harder than rock;
they have refused to repent.
Then I said, ‘These are only the poor;
they have no sense;
for they do not know the way of the Lord,
the justice of their God.
I will go to the great
and will speak to them,
for they know the way of the Lord,
the justice of their God.’
But they all alike had broken the yoke;
they had burst the bonds.
Therefore a lion from the forest shall strike them down;
a wolf from the desert shall devastate them.
A leopard is watching their cities;
everyone who goes out of them shall be torn in pieces,
because their transgressions are many,
their apostasies are great.
How can I pardon you?
Your children have forsaken me
and have sworn by those who are no gods.
When I fed them to the full,
they committed adultery
and trooped to the houses of whores.
They were well-fed, lusty stallions,
each neighing for his neighbor’s wife.
Shall I not punish them for these things?
declares the Lord;
and shall I not avenge myself
on a nation such as this?
Go up through her vine rows and destroy,
but make not a full end;
strip away her branches,
for they are not the Lord’s.
For this nation
has been utterly treacherous to me,
declares the Lord.
They have spoken falsely of the Lord
and have said, ‘He will do nothing;
no disaster will come upon us,
nor shall we see sword or famine.’
The prophets will become wind;
the word is not in them.
Thus shall it be done to them!
Therefore, thus says the Lord, the God of hosts:
Because you have spoken this word,
behold, I am making my words in your mouth a fire,
and this people wood, and the fire shall consume them.
Behold, I am bringing against you
a nation from afar, declares the Lord.
It is an enduring nation;
it is an ancient nation,
a nation whose language you do not know,
nor can you understand what they say.
Their quiver is like an open tomb;
they are all mighty warriors.
They shall eat up your harvest and your food;
they shall eat up your sons and your daughters;
they shall eat up your flocks and your herds;
they shall eat up your vines and your fig trees;
your fortified cities in which you trust
they shall beat down with the sword.
But even in those days, declares the Lord, I will not make a full end of you. And when your people say, ‘Why has the Lord our God done all these things to us?’ you shall say to them, ‘As you have forsaken me and served foreign gods in your land, so you shall serve foreigners in a land that is not yours.”
“Repent from your sins and turn to the Lord. Acknowledge him in all your ways. Submit to his correction. Obedience is what he desires. Justice and mercy and to walk humbly with him is what he requires from those who he calls his children. Repent before his discipline turns to anger, the rod to a sword, deficiency to famine.”
One of the hyenas snarled. “Where do you get this stuff?”
Jeremiah didn’t reply but braced himself for the confrontation. His chest rose and fell in slow, measured swells, like distant waves headed towards a calm beach. The attacks were nothing new. He had grown accustomed long ago. The Lord would provide the words and keep his heart from sinning, if Jeremiah would allow him.
“Neighing for your neighbor’s wife. That’s a new one. It’s even better than the donkey in heat.” He made a gesture, which seemed especially inappropriate for the setting. The red flushed across his pale face. Another man laughed, joining him in a private joke.
“The Lord rebuke you,” Jeremiah said.
“The Lord rebuke me. I’m sorry. Is that some sort of curse? If it is, it needs a little work? Try, you’re a self-righteous piece of scum, you fake, hypocritical holy man,” the man said, spitting out venom.
“Be careful the lusty horse doesn’t neigh all over you,” his friend said.
The crude comment spurred the other on. “If the Lord wanted to rebuke me, he would’ve done it long ago. Since he hasn’t, I can only assume he’s been too busy peeking through windows making sure the homosexuals aren’t doing anything naughty. Or maybe he’s developing plans for a new and improved inquisition rack. Or a boat! To save Noah from the next flood. I bet that’s why he hasn’t had time to slay me.”
Jeremiah read the print on the lanyard around the man’s neck. Modern Christianity Magazine. No worse in Jeremiah’s mind than any other publication which made a practice out of mocking him. Just a little more obvious with their antipathy towards him than the rest. Not to mention the use of Christ in their title. As genuine as a bottle of La Vie Sacrée cabernet franc from Little Rock. One of their reporters showed up every time Jeremiah spoke. This one’s face was familiar, not enough so that Jeremiah remembered where they had first met.
“At the end of days, the earth will be consumed by fire,” Jeremiah said, “and you and the lies you tell yourself will be destroyed in the flames.”
The red of the man’s face deepened. His jaws tensed as he grinded his teeth. “You arrogant, little ….” He caught himself. “Who made you the arbiter of truth?”
“I only speak what God has told me to speak.”
“Sure. You have some sort of direct line to him. Number one on speed dial, I bet. Tell me, what’s he like? Does he have a deep voice? Does he let it ring once or twice before picking up?”
Jeremiah held his tongue.
“Seriously, where do you come up with this? Does God have a separate Bible that he’s decided to share only with you? Have you read the actual Bible lately? What you claim is not what I read in there. Hate? Destruction? No, what I see is a God of love, of tolerance. Not some tyrant who waits anxiously to destroy mankind.”
“My words are true.”
“When everyone else says one thing and you say another, you might want to reconsider whether or not you know what truth is.” He shook his head in disgust. “This nation has forsaken God? We are a Christian nation, you moron. Famine in this land of plenty? Look around you. Do you see anyone starving? All you do is stir up hate. I would call you a grifter, scaring people into giving you handouts, except I actually think you believe what you say. The worst thing is, you can’t even see your own hypocrisy. ‘Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.’ I’m pretty sure I read that somewhere. That’s what the Bible says, not the garbage you spewed today.”
Jeremiah spoke. “It is written, ‘Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment.’ You fool. Your own words condemn you. You have forsaken the one, true God and hewed out a cistern for yourself; a broken cistern that can hold no water. Your mouth will dry up. Your tongue will cling to the roof of your mouth as you search for a drop of water to quench your thirst.”
“What are you talking about, you idiot?”
“To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life. Those who are victorious will inherit all this, and I will be their God and they will be my children. But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars – they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur.”
Jeremiah let his words linger as he walked off the stage. The man followed him down the aisle. A crowd tagged along to watch what would happen next. The man reached Jeremiah as he tried to pass through the back door. Grabbing him by the arm, he spun Jeremiah around and shoved him against the frame. The force of the blow knocked the wind out of him.
“Who do you think you are?” The man pinned Jeremiah against the wall with one arm. His deep red face rested inches away. “You’re nothing but a cowardly, hypocritical, homophobic, fragile, smart-mouthed piece of …,” he hissed. Drops of spit splattered onto Jeremiah’s brow. The man’s tongue approached Jeremiah’s ear. “If there weren’t all these people around, I’d take that smug mouth of yours and smash your teeth in.”
He released his hold on Jeremiah’s collar and let him fall to the floor. Jeremiah gasped a couple times as the air reentered his lungs. The man walked off, and the crowd dispersed with him, some shaking their heads, a few adding their profanities to his. A man in a denim jacket added a cup of coffee to the curses he poured out. The hot liquid soaked through Jeremiah’s shirt and scalded his skin. A groan escaped from his throat.
“Let me give you a hand.”
Jeremiah looked up at a young man in his early twenties. Dark-rimmed glasses clung to his nose. An expression, equal measure compassion and irritation, adorned his face.
“Mob mentality. A bunch of idiots,” he said as he lifted Jeremiah to his feet. “Here, you go. They’re clean.”
Jeremiah took the pair of napkins from him. “Thanks.” The kindness eased the pain a little.
“You might want to run that under cold water.”
“I’ll be alright,” Jeremiah said. “It’s not the first spilled cup I’ve faced. They’re not as bad as the thrown milkshakes, especially the ones with cement in them.” He finished wiping himself and looked for a wastebasket.
“You certainly leave an impression,” the guy said. Jeremiah couldn’t tell if it was sarcasm or admiration. “The name’s Baruch,” he continued, extending his hand again. “I’m a writer with the Washington Register.”
“I haven’t heard of it.”
“I’m new,” Baruch said. “Started a couple months ago.”
“I mean the Register. Is it a newspaper?”
“Weekly magazine. We’re trying to make a name for ourselves.” His smile was more lip than teeth. “I was hired to cover politics, but since not much is happening, they asked me to cover this conference.”
“Jeremiah,” he finally said.
“I know,” Baruch said. “Everybody knows.” A nervous cough leapt into the air. “Look, I don’t want to beat around the bush. I was hoping to do an interview with you. Any chance you’d be willing? We could do it over dinner.”
Jeremiah rubbed his palms. “I have plans tonight.”
“Sure, of course. I didn’t mean to be so forward, although ….” He paused to pull out a card. “If you happen to have time later, and are interested of course, I’d love to hear from you. My number’s on the back.”
Jeremiah turned the card around. Seeing the number, he put the card in his pocket. “Thanks again for the help.”
“No problem. Anytime.”
Baruch’s footsteps faded down the hall. Jeremiah turned back into the nearly empty auditorium. A single janitor dumped trash into a larger wastebasket. He nodded towards Jeremiah and continued on his way. Jeremiah found a seat and closed his eyes.
“Do you have a moment? I need to ask you something.” The fan blew on his face and cooled his skin.
“Why, Lord?”
“Did I hear your voice? Were you really speaking to me?”
“I went where you called me. I felt your hand gently push against my back. You took me where my feet didn’t want to go. Into the lion’s den you sent me. They bared their teeth. Their mouths roared oaths to destroy me. You shut the jaws for Daniel, but they tore into my flesh. I lay there naked and bruised. Blood flowed from my wounds. But my greatest injury was from you. Their wounds hurt my body. Your cut injured my soul.”
“Where were you when I cried out to you? All night I cried. For days and weeks and months, I cried. Where were you in the darkness? Where was your mighty hand, your gentle voice, your presence? Were you close by? Were you asleep in the boat as the wind and the waves threatened to drag me into the depths? I shook you to wake you, but you didn’t arise. Is it because my faith wasn’t great enough? They called out to you and you woke to rebuke them. But you rebuked the wind and the waves as well. You called them men of little faith. Then, call me that as well, just speak to me.”
“Why do they prosper? They worship you with their tongues, but their hearts long to do evil all day long. I did what you told me to do. I told them of you. I reminded them of your truth. I prayed for them because I loved them, and they dug their nails into me. Every one turned their backs on me.”
“Why did you ask me? If only I were never born. Let the earth open up and swallow me.”
“Take vengeance for me, Lord. Send those who harm me to the grave. Do not let their wickedness go unpunished. I endured their abuse for the glory of your name, so they might know of you. Humiliation and dishonor were my reward. Hate and slander were my payment. Still, I kept speaking of you, but it didn’t make a bit of difference. Not a single person turned his face to you. What was the purpose? Was there any reason for my humiliation? How was any of that for my good? For your glory?”
“Did I hear your voice? Did you really speak to me? I did what I thought you said, but all I ever do is fail. I must not have heard you. I can’t go on. Yet my heart burns within me. How can I not speak of you? How can I contain your words? Can a volcano contain its flow? Can the sun hold back its rays? Your words must spill out or they will consume me.
“Why, Lord?”
If you return, I will restore you, and you shall stand before me. If you utter what is precious, and not what is worthless, you shall be as my mouth. They shall turn to you, but you shall not turn to them. And I will make you to this people a fortified wall of bronze; they will fight against you, but they shall not prevail over you, for I am with you to save you and deliver you. I will deliver you out of the hand of the wicked and redeem you from the grasp of the ruthless.
“Yes, Lord. Please forgive my doubt. Please help me not to doubt anymore. I am weak. Give me your strength. Teach me to rely on you, for only then will I be strong.”
Go to him. He will record the words I give you. Do not worry about what you will say, for it will be my spirit that speaks through you. It is my glory that will be made known. My purposes will be accomplished.
Jeremiah opened his eyes. The auditorium was empty. The words echoed in his mind. A stone which grew and filled all his thoughts. If you utter what is precious, and not what is worthless, you shall be as my mouth. After all he had said, after all his doubts.
“Why me, Lord? Why would you choose me? Why do you stick with me?”
The fan hummed and blew gently against his face. Jeremiah rose from his seat and went.